A debt collector called my mother
A debt collector may call your mother, or anyone else, only to get your address, home phone number or place of work. It may not tell her you owe a debt, usually may not call her more than once, and may not keep calling her once it knows where to reach you. If it told her about the debt, or used her to pressure you, that can violate the FDCPA.
It usually starts with your phone ringing and your mother on the other end, upset. "A man called about a debt. He said you owe money and it is serious." Now you are embarrassed, she is worried, and the collector got exactly what it wanted: pressure.
The FDCPA was written to stop this. Here is what a collector may and may not do when it calls a relative.
The only lawful reason to call her
A collector may contact someone other than you for one purpose: to get location information, which the statute defines as your home address and home phone number, or your place of employment (15 U.S.C. §§ 1692a(7), 1692b). When it makes that call, it must follow these rules:
- Identify himself and say he is confirming location information. The caller names his employer only if expressly asked.
- Never say you owe a debt. Not directly, not by hint.
- Call only once. Unless she asks for a callback, or the collector reasonably believes her first answer was wrong or incomplete and she now has the correct information.
- No postcards, and no envelope that shows it is about a debt.
- Once it knows you have a lawyer, it must go to the lawyer, not your family.
If the collector already has your address and phone number, it has no location reason to call your mother at all.
When it crosses the line
Outside a location call, a collector may not communicate about your debt with anyone except you, your lawyer, a credit bureau, the creditor, the creditor's lawyer or its own lawyer, unless you consent directly to the collector or a court allows it (§ 1692c(b)).
For that rule, "consumer" includes your spouse, your parent if you are a minor, a guardian, and an executor or administrator (§ 1692c(d)). So a collector may talk to your husband or wife about the debt. An adult's mother is not on the list.
Signs the call to your mother was unlawful:
- She was told you owe money. Or "it is about an account," "it is a legal matter," or anything that tells her why the collector wants you.
- She was called again and again. After she already said where you live or that she would pass on a message.
- She was asked to pay. Unless she co-signed, it is not her debt.
- She was threatened or insulted. The harassment section protects "any person," not only the debtor (§ 1692d).
Regulators have acted against this tactic. In a case brought by the CFPB and the New York Attorney General, the complaint alleged that a group of Buffalo-area collectors called debtors' family members, in-laws, employers and Facebook friends. The case ended in a 2022 stipulated judgment that banned the companies and their owners from debt collection. The story is on our page the Circles collectors.
What your mother can say
Your mother does not have to help the collector. If it calls her, she can say: "I do not discuss my family's business. Do not call this number again." She can hang up. She does not have to confirm your address, your job or your phone number, and she should never offer to pay a debt she does not owe.
Ask her to write down every call afterward, and to keep the call history. Under the statute, a collector generally gets one location call to a third party. A second call, after she has already answered or refused, is part of your evidence, and a pattern of calls to her can be harassment of her in her own right.
In New York, New Jersey and Florida
New York. General Business Law § 601(6) bars communicating with a frequency, at unusual hours or in a manner that can reasonably be expected to abuse or harass. Consumers usually bring these claims under GBL § 349, which lets the court award attorney's fees to a prevailing plaintiff. See New York.
Florida. The FCCPA bars anyone collecting a consumer debt, including the original creditor, from willfully communicating with the debtor or any member of the debtor's family with a frequency that can reasonably be expected to harass, or engaging in other abusive conduct (Fla. Stat. § 559.72(7)), and from disclosing information that affects your reputation to someone without a legitimate business need (§ 559.72(5)). See Florida.
New Jersey. The federal rules apply. See New Jersey.
The FDCPA provides actual damages plus statutory damages of up to $1,000, and requires a collector found liable to pay the consumer's reasonable attorney's fees and costs. The claim must be filed within one year of the violation, so do not wait. Our page on calls to family and employer has the full rule.
What to do this week
- Ask your mother to write down what she remembers today: date, time, the number, the caller's name and company, and the exact words about you or a debt.
- Save her call history and any voicemail. A screenshot works.
- Send the collector a letter with your mailing address and a request that it contact you only in writing. Once it has your address, it has no reason to call her again.
- If you have a lawyer, give the collector the lawyer's name. From then on it must deal with the lawyer.
- Run the violation checker and keep the record in the call log.
Sources: 15 U.S.C. §§ 1692a(7), 1692b, 1692c(b), (d), 1692d, 1692k; N.Y. Gen. Bus. Law §§ 601, 349(h); Fla. Stat. § 559.72(5), (7); CFPB and New York v. JPL Recovery Solutions, LLC, No. 1:20-cv-01217 (W.D.N.Y.), enforcement action.
Common questions
Can the collector talk to my spouse about my debt?
Yes. For the rule that limits third-party contact, the FDCPA defines 'consumer' to include your spouse, so a collector may discuss the debt with your husband or wife. The same definition includes a parent only if you are a minor.
Who has the claim, me or my mother?
Often both. The third-party rules protect you, the consumer. The harassment section of the FDCPA protects 'any person', so a relative who is called repeatedly or abused on the phone may have a claim of her own.
What if my mother is a co-signer?
Then she may owe the debt herself, and the collector can contact her about her own obligation. Ask to see the signed document before assuming she is liable.
Tell us what they did.
One conversation with an attorney, in your language. We tell you which laws the collector or the credit bureau broke, which deadline runs first, and what to save this week. If it is not a case we can take, we say so and tell you where to go.
(718) 484-7510The FDCPA and the FCRA require a company found liable to pay the consumer’s reasonable attorney’s fees and costs. Our fee arrangement is confirmed in a written retainer before we begin. English, Russian and Spanish in-house; an interpreter for any other language.